My husband and I have always played a game when watching the Underbelly series, well more of a wager. We bet on how far into the episode we will get our first glimpse of boobs. The loser has to make school lunches for a week. The winner gets a massage.

In Underbelly Razor, it appears we won’t have to wait long with a fantastic bath scene for our viewing pleasure almost immediately. I won’t be letting my husband in on this snippet of information obviously. Making school lunches are the bane of my existence and I could really do with a massage.

Channel Nine has promised us that Razor will return us to the original and best kind of Underbelly. The kind where we were startled by the storyline and had a genuine interest in getting to know the real story behind what show we were watching.

This time round, the story revolves around inner Sydney in the 1920s and in particular the battle between Tilly Devine and Kate Leigh’s fight to gain control of the flourishing gambling, extortion, prostitution and illegal drug trades.

There will be stand over men. There will be pimps, thugs and gunmen. And there will be sex. The scenery and costume already look amazing and I must admit I am looking forward to getting lost in this era.

This has been based on the book, Razor, by Larry Writer.

“Underbelly Razor will bring to life Australia’s two famed vice queens along with infamous gangsters Norman Bruhn Guido Calletti, Big Jim Devine, Squizzy Taylor, Phil “the Jew” Jeffs, John “Snowy” Cutmore and Frank “the Little Gunman” Green.

Starring Danielle Cormack as Kate Leigh, Chelsie Preston Crayford as Tilly Devine alongside a stellar cast that includes Jeremy Lindsay Taylor, Jack Campbell, Steve Le Marquand, John Batchelor, Felix Williamson, Khan Chittenden and newcomer Anna McGahan as delectable prostitute, Nellie Cameron.”

Of course, the best thing Channel Nine has done so far is to use Adele’s Rolling in the Deep as the song to promote their series. It makes you pay attention. Let’s hope it lives up to the hype.

Underbelly Razor – Sunday 8.30pm – Channel Nine.

Team Patrick or Team Chris?

You have to choose one, because only one will be left standing at the end of series two which concludes on Wednesday night. I’m talking about Offspring by the way, the TV show that to me, was considerably annoying in the first series because Dr Nina Proudman was so damn ditzy, continually losing her way and floating in and out of reality too often, but thankfully settled down in series two. I can honestly say, it has one of the best love triangles ever seen on Australian Television.

Poor Nina has a bit of a reputation for falling for the hot male doctor at her hospital and this year we have been able to watch her have the pleasure of dating not one, but two of the newcomers. To throw a spanner in the works, re-enter Dr Chris Havel, Nina’s previous (true) love separated by oh, just a wife and child, who he chose over over her at the end of series one.

So Dr Chris is back. And this time he’s unattached. And even though Nina’s relationship with the somewhat damaged and emotional (and oh so very hot, sweet Jesus, this man is amazing) Dr Patrick Reid is only in its infancy, it has us, the viewer, in definite camps. Who should she choose? Should she have the right to choose?

And let’s face it though, it’s not like Nina is the first character to find herself embroiled in an on-screen love triangle. We, as viewers cannot seem to get enough of a three-way love affair, especially if they get the casting and chemistry right.

For example, who can forget the Dylan-Kelly-Brandon love affair in 90210? Wait, before that even, there was the Kelly-Dylan-Brenda three-way affair which in hindsight was super creepy.

Of course Grey’s Anatomy has had its fair share of problems as well, with the whole Addison-McDreamy-Meredith scenario.

And of course the Twilight, Jacob-Bella-Edward three-way is probably the most famous of them all.

So what is it as a viewer, that gets us sucked into these kind of scripts and character situations? Is it because we know inevitably one of the three will lose? Is it because we can relate? Do we wish it was happening to us? Or is it simply, in the case of Offspring, because of this:

Whatever the reason, be sure to tune into season finale of Offspring this Wednesday night, 9pm on Channel 10.

The Block returns this week for 2011 and from what I’ve seen so far, we are in for quite the ride.

This year though, there are a few changes. They’ve shaken things up a little and the stakes are a lot higher. No longer will the couples be renovating a unit, but an entire house. In fact, they will be making over four workers cottages, 10 minutes out of Melbourne city, that have been described as a “renovator’s nightmare.”

First things first though. Curve ball number one.  Initially there are eight couples yet only four spots available on the show. To determine who those four couples will be, there are a series of “super challenges” where couples are paired off in competition with one another. The couple’s are then given a stark white room, $5,000 and 24 hours in which to transform the rooms into any kind of area they so desire.  They are each given an item such as a lamp, chair or table and prompted to work around them for inspiration. The two couples are then judged against one another on their design, functionality and execution.

For my money, I hope they take into account the best personalities because that’s what the viewers will return for. A brilliant room is one thing; a contestant that can make us respectfully love or despise them is another.

The initial eight couples are:

Chrissie & Toby – Married

Polly & Waz – Together 3 years

Katrina & Amie – Sisters

Laura & Emily – Identical Twin Sisters

Shannon & Aaron – Together 5 years

Jenna & Josh – Together 5 years

Carrie & Chris – Married

Tania & Rod – Married

Over four nights you’ll see these eight couples battle it out for a spot on The Block. You’ll get to see them forget to take essential items home from the store, sing off key, generally lose their minds and design some very funky spaces. Melbourne also gets one hell of an advertisement, looking picture perfect and very accommodating in the retail sector.

For mine, I hope the identical twin sisters (for the drama factor) and Chrissie & Toby make it through. They are the best value for money. Whether their rooms were better, well, no I don’t think they necessarily were, but time will tell which four couples make it onto the block and stand a chance to make some serious cash when the houses they renovate are completed and go to auction.

If you think The Block lost its way in the last series, you might want to give another chance this year.

The Block:

Channel 9

Starts Monday 20^th June 7pm.

Angry Boys debuted last Wednesday at 9pm on ABC1.  It can still be iViewed for a limited time HERE.  Massive Warning/Disclaimer: there is a mountain of swearing in Angry Boys.  And political correctness takes a decided backseat.

Chris Lilley, writer of the previous two Mockumentaries, We Can be Heroes and Summer Heights High, is often referred to as a genius when it comes to satire and comedy.  Not only does he write Angry Boys, he is also the actor who portrays no less than six of the characters.  We met three of these in the first series:

Daniel and Nathan Sims: Seventeen year old identical twins reprising their roles from We Can Be Heroes.  Nathan is deaf and Daniel takes great delight in tormenting and ostracising is his brother.  See them in all their glory doing Mainys in the Pulsy.

Gran Sims: Gran is a 65 year old Correctional officer at the Sydney Garingal Juvenile Justice Centre for Boys.  She’s one tough un-politically correct cookie who underneath it all, I suspect has a heart of gold. Oh, and she is the Grandmother of Daniel and Nathan.   She has a penchant for guinea pigs and my hunch is that there is quite the story still to come about her lady “flatmate”

Still to meet are:

Jen Okazaki.  Japanese mother of three who has moved to America for a better life.  Her main aim in life is to see her son Tim achieve skateboarding greatness.  The hook?  She believes if he is both cute Japanese boy and homosexual, he will be more of a success.  She builds the successful Gaystyle Enterprises on the back of this.

Blake Oakfield:  I’m sensing a bit of Bra Boy action when it comes to Blake.  He’s a 38 year old champion surfer who is a married father of 2.5 kids.   There’s gang action, there’s testicle shootouts, there’s the Mucca Boys.  Stay tuned.

Last but not least is S.mouse.  Slap my Elbow.  That’s the name of “kid friendly” song that became a huge success for the rapper from Los Angeles.  Trying to lose the typical boy tag and reinvent himself as the underprivileged black guy from the ghetto, he releases a homemade song “Poo on You”.  House arrests, defecating on cop cars. That’s what s.Mous is all about.

And there you have it. Writing it out loud so to speak makes it sound incredibly juvenile.  Everyone needs time out from the serious stuff though yes?  And I think it was the whole “water cooler” moments the next day at work that made it seem even funnier.

Reviews were mostly positive with massive numbers in its first week for Angry Boys. Those who have loved Lilley in the past, for the most part stuck by him.  Those who didn’t, well their disdain grew further.

This show is not for everyone and definitely not for the easily offended.

Angry Boys ABC1, Wednesdays at 9pm.

I know, I know, you’re in one of two camps when it comes to the Royal Wedding this coming Friday.

The first – you cannot get enough of the Prince and his soon to be Princess or, the other, in which you just want everyone to shut the hell up about Wills and Kate already.  Either way, below is a list of your options come Friday night.

Firstly though, before I outline said options, just a heads up that Channel Ten are airing a movie titled – Will and Kate,  A Modern Day Fairytale on Wednesday at 8:30pm.  This is a movie based on fact (apparently) about the life and times of William and Kate up until now.  It looks a bit lame and from the promo, a little bit raunchy.  It will though, get you up to speed.

CHANNEL 10
7pm – 8pm Dave Hughes & Charlie Pickering cross to London
8pm – 9:30pm Running commentary from Fitzy and Whippa.  I suspect this won’t be classic commentary but perfect for those whose like their Royal Weddings injected with a little humour.

CHANNEL 9

7pm – 8:30pm Karl Stefanovic and Lisa Wilkinson will be taking us through proceedings.  The NRL kicks in at 8:30 but GEM is running full coverage until 11pm.  I’d say Channel 9 will be the channel the purists will watch.

CHANNEL 7

6:30pm – 11pm – Chris Bath and Matt White (What?  No Mel and Kochie?) will be live crossing to street parties in Kate’s home town and of course, discussing the ins and outs of the dress, the kiss and the wheels they leave in.  (AFL will be shown on 7mate (Ch 73)

ABC1

7:30 – 10:44 (very precise timing there) This will be traditional coverage with no ad breaks.  More than likely most everyone over the age of 65 will be locked onto this channel for the Royal Wedding Coverage.

ABC2

7pm – 10:31pm – The Chasers Royal Wedding Commentary which is a self-described “Alternative Royal Wedding Commentary which is uninformed and unconstitutional”.  I can already see this will be a hit with Twitter and the younger demographic.

SBS

Nope, sorry, nothing to see here.  Well nothing Royal.

So there you have it.  Consider yourself informed and hey, if none of the above does it for you, get into Blockbuster early.  Something tells me it’s going to be hit hard on Friday night.
Enjoy.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vY0OHQwhiq8[/youtube]

It’s that time of year again. The time when all involved with the Australian Television industry are recognised for their outstanding achievements or talent. This is celebrated on the “night of nights” at a fancy ballroom with plenty of red carpet action. At the end of the day though, it comes down to the winner of the Gold Logie. This is won by the brightest star in the Australian acting and entertainment talent pool at the time.

The Gold Logie winner is ultimately decided by the viewing public, but here’s the catch, they have quite the small pool from which to vote from.   This year that pool consists of:

Adam Hills (Spicks And Specks, ABC1)
Asher Keddie (Offspring, Network Ten)
Chrissie Swan (The Circle, Network Ten)
Jessica Marais (Packed To The Rafters, Channel Seven)
Karl Stefanovic (Today, Nine Network)
Rebecca Gibney (Packed To The Rafters, Channel Seven)

I actually can say I genuinely like each and every person up for nomination this year, however, my prediction is that Karl Stefanovic will take it out. Let’s face it, ever since he got loaded at the Logies after party and then proceeded to turn up half cut to present the Today Show, we’ve all embraced him.  Fair to say before that, my Mum and the Grey Army were massive fans of Karl, but us Gen X and Y’ers, not so much.  Here’s a refresher.  Seriously, this is worth watching again.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WK2YVTl8Jko[/youtube]

Apart from the Gold Logie though, there is the somewhat trianwreckish 3-4 hours that is the Logies Ceremony.  Previously, the bar has been set high with a comedian sitting in the front row Tweeting STI jokes about our specially imported International music act for the night or our beloved Bert Newton inadvertently being racist to Muhammad Ali.  One can only dream of the goodness 2011 will bring.

Stay tuned for the big event, which will be telecast on Sunday May the 1st on Channel Nine.

Alternatively, you can go HERE and check out the “other” TV awards, The Molkies. The Inaugural Molkies awards will be held in Brisbane on the 16th of April.  So what are the Molkies?  They are probably the awards that make the most sense to the average viewer, to be honest.

Categories include “Personality you change Channels to avoid” (Prue McSween, Eddie McGuire and David Koch are some of the nominees).  Another category, which personally I think is incredibly important, is “The Worst Show on TV”.  Now, hey, admittedly this would have been hard for Steve Molk, brainchild behind the Molkies to narrow down, but I believe he’s on to quite the winner with such candidates as The Ben Elton Show, Warnie and Cops LAC.

So who and what are behind the Molkies? Simple: one guy, Steve Molk.  He  is a passionate and opinionated TV watcher and commentator, who found rather than just annoy his wife with his observations, he could share his opinions through the social media platforms of Twitter and Facebook.  As a consequence, he has found himself with quite the following and the Molkie Awards will be the natural extension to this.

They will be compered by the hilarious and charming Julian Schiller who you will be familiar with from the 7pm project.  The highlights of the night will be available here, on Screen Scoop as soon as I sober up get home and type up my report.

Either way you look at it, our television personalities here in Australia are about to be judged and rewarded.  Or backhandedly complimented.   Either way, bring it.

In the last week, I’ve taken in two movies with actors who have been nominated for an Academy Award in 2011.

The first was Black Swan, an intense psychological drama about ballet.  Well really, it had little to do with ballet and more to do with the fact that Natalie Portman’s character Nina, was a very disturbed young lady.  Briefly, without giving away the plot or ending, Black Swan follows Nina and her rise to the top of the prestigious New York Ballet Company.  She is chosen to be the lead in the production of Swan Lake, hence her role being both the white and black swans.  And that’s when things get a little messy and to be quite honest, bloody scary.  This is one of those movies you literally have to cover your eyes in.  Oh, and just a heads up, you might want to hide the nail files after watching.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5jaI1XOB-bs[/youtube]

I watched Natalie Portman closely because I knew she had just won the Golden Globe for best actress and I wanted to see exactly why.  The part of Nina, thankfully, is one she gets to display her varied acting talents with.  It would have been a very joyless experience for her to act out.  Almost soul sucking.   She rarely gets to laugh, is teary for the great majority and of course, has to act clinically insane for a great deal of it. 

Should she have won?  For sure.  Should she win the Academy Award for best Actress on Monday?  Well she’s up against Nicole Kidman for Rabbit Hole, Jennifer Lawrence in Winter’s Bone, Michelle Williams in Blue Valentine and Annette Bening for The Kids Are All Right.  Tough competition and as much as I love Annette Bening in the Kids are Alright, I think Natalie may just pip her at the post.

The next movie I watched was an older movie, one that has been out for a while, the Australian production, Animal Kingdom.   This too, was not a feel good movie.  In fact, Jackie Weaver, nominee for Best Supporting Actress, absolutely nailed the portrayal of Janine Cody, matriarch of a very questionable criminal family, so well; I pretty much hated her by the time the credits rolled.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R5BsYRmMfus[/youtube]

This is a gruesome movie.  It’s gritty and at times, uncomfortable to watch.  It has it’s tale to tell about brothers, their mother (Weaver) and a nephew and the crimes that bind them all.  And it’s not pretty.  Worth watching, if not just to be freaked out by Jackie Weavers amazing eyes and her passive aggressive underworld abilities.

Here’s the full list of the nominees for the Oscars shown at Noon, Monday the 28^th of February on Channel 9.

Best Picture

Black Swan

The Fighter

Inception

The King’s Speech

The Kids Are All Right

True Grit

Winter’s Bone

Toy Story 3

The Social Network

127 Hours

Best Director

Darren Aronofsky, Black Swan

David Fincher, The Social Network

Tom Hooper, The King’s Speech

David O. Russell, The Fighter

Ethan Coen & Joel Coen, True Grit

Best Actor

Jesse Eisenberg, The Social Network

Colin Firth, The King’s Speech

James Franco, 127 Hours

Jeff Bridges, True Grit

Javier Bardem, Biutiful

Best Actress

Natalie Portman, Black Swan

Nicole Kidman, Rabbit Hole

Jennifer Lawrence, Winter’s Bone

Michelle Williams, Blue Valentine

Annette Bening, The Kids Are All Right

Best Supporting Actor

Christian Bale, The Fighter

Geoffrey Rush, The King’s Speech

Jeremy Renner, The Town

John Hawkes, Winter’s Bone

Mark Ruffalo, The Kids Are All Right

Best Supporting Actress

Melissa Leo, The Fighter

Helena Bonham Carter, The King’s Speech

Amy Adams, The Fighter

Hailee Steinfeld, True Grit

Jacki Weaver, Animal Kingdom

Now to all of you out there in Foxtel/Austar land, you probably do not care in the slightest that finally, free to air TV is coming out of hibernation for 2011.  But for me and all those others who don’t have Pay TV, it’s a godsend.

This year, we have a whole lot of the old stuff returning and I am grateful for this.  Don’t fix what isn’t broke and all that jazz.  Just a sample of some of the shows coming back to our screens in 2011 include:

Cougar Town
Packed to the Rafters
The Biggest Loser
Modern Family
Grey’s Anatomy
Brothers and Sisters
Glee and
Farmer wants a Wife

Equally, the networks try a few new shows.  Some will be hits, some will be misses, but at least one show will be be hosted by Eddie McGuire.  It’s only natural.

New in 2010:

Hawaii 5 – O – Channel 10

This is a remake and so far,  has rated its socks off.  Aussie actor Alex O’Louglin headlines alongside Scott Caan to bring the 1970’s classic, into the future.  Book Em Danno.

Ben Elton – Live from Planet Earth. – Channel 9

Described by the network as “100% comedy, 100% live” and as “The ultimate great night in” makes me nervous.  I like Ben Elton’s books, I really do, but man, this will be a hard gig.  Live, comedy and trying to keep the Australian audience happy?  Good Luck Ben.

This is Your Life – Channel 9

Granted, this is not new, but it has been off our screens for a while. And here’s the kicker, it’s hosted by Eddie McGuire, Channel 9’s go to guy.  When in doubt, call Eddie.  I do wonder whose life they will honour though.  Bert’s been done and the whole getting the son to front up thing might be a little awkward.    Kerri-Anne Kennerley?  Perhaps.  We will all just have to sit tight and wait.

Conviction Kitchen – Channel 7

So, this is pretty self explanatory.  Chef Ian Curley opens a Brisbane restaurant that is staffed by ex-criminals.  The point being, they have a purpose and hopefully turn their lives around.  The premise, apart from the atrocious title, sounds kind of inviting.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jgj7vNrZhkE[/youtube]

Mike and Molly – Channel 9

It was hard to avoid news about this show coming to Channel 9 in 2011. Every chance they got, the cricket commentators were flogging it over the summer season.   The show revolves around Mike and Molly, who meet at overeaters anonymous.  One wants to shed a few kilos, one wants to embrace her curves.  Blah.  Why oh why would Channel 9 make this one of their biggest shows of 2011?  Again, we will just have to wait and see how this pans out.

There is a new Underbelly series slotted in to start sometime this year which will no doubt delight our senses with gratuitous violence and the necessary amount of naked breasts.  People will always tune in for that.

Welcome to 2011 viewing and enjoy.

Is a coincidence that the new Ten digital channel called Eleven, launches on Tuesday the 11^th of January, 2011 at 11am?   I think not.

The good news for all Gen X’ers is, that this channel was basically designed for you.

Let me rattle off just a few of the shows that you will remember fondly and be able to relive again:

The Love Boat

Happy Days

MacGuyver

Cheers

Mork & Mindy

Family Ties

Hogan’s Heroes

The Brady Bunch

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2i0QWXvOn0[/youtube]

The list goes on.  I for one am super excited the new generation of kids coming through will get to know the Fonz.  He is, let’s face it, all kinds of awesome.

Further to the 80’s nostalgia, Eleven will be bringing some shows that perhaps were either shown late, or discontinued on Channel Ten due to irregular or poor ratings.  Like Californication or the New Generation of 90210.  Also the American series of So You Think You can Dance will be aired directly after 90210 on a Friday night at 8:30pm.  Friday nights in just got a whole lot more inviting.

Of course though, there is a large scale salvage mission going on behind the scenes of this new channel.  From Tuesday, you will only see the series of Neighbours on Channel Eleven. No longer will you view this on Channel Ten.

Now, I haven’t watched Neighbours since Mrs Mangle was a constant fixture, but my eleven year old daughter eats this show, and its massive drama up. Therefore, I anticipate its target market will follow it wherever it may go.    Plus, the network’s spokesperson was quick to point out that the last time Neighbours went to a new channel, they flourished.  Wishful thinking?  Bring on another Scott and Charlene and they’ll be good to go.

The new Channel, Eleven (you may have to rescan for digital channels on your television to update) goes live on Tuesday the 11^th of January, 2011 at 11am.

Meet The Parents – Little Fockers.

You won’t find anything new or out of the ordinary in Little Fockers, the third instalment in the Meet the Parents Franchise.    And this is a good thing, because let’s face it; if you are not looking for highbrow entertainment, you are after more of the same.

And more of the same you will get.  More Greg (Gaylord) Focker cocking up every situation put in front of him in diabolical style.  More Father In law action from Jack Byrnes (Robert De Niro) and thankfully and delightfully, more wackiness from Greg’s parents, Bernie & Roz (Dustin Hoffman and Barbara Streisand).  Of course Owen Wilson reprises his role as Kevin Rawley.

Obviously there are little Fockers, Greg and wife Pams, 5 year old twins.  There is the highly intelligent Samantha (Daisy Tahan), who Grandpa  Jack swears is 75% Byrnes and Henry (Colin Baiocchi) who Jack believes got a double dose of  the Focker gene with fart jokes and inappropriate drawings his MO.   Both of these little actors may very well be the cutest child actors to come out of Hollywood since that little kid from Jerry McGuire.   Wonder where he is now?  I digress.

Without giving away the plot, the central theme is cheating.  Everyone is either doing it, thinking of doing it, pretending to do it or being wrongfully accused of doing it.

Also, the new addition to the chapter is Andi Garcia (cue the male actor by same name jokes) an over enthusiastic Pharmacy Company Rep, played by Jessica Alba.  When Jess gets a little too touchy feely for Greg, all sorts of cover your eye moments ensue.

Of course it wouldn’t be a Meet the Parents Movie without a penis and syringe visual, nor would it be without Jinxy the Cat.  One word of warning. In probably the second or third scene, there is a highly uncomfortable moment where Greg is inserting an enema.  Please don’t leave the cinema.  I know you will want to, but it gets better from there, I promise.

Unfortunately there is no baby and asshooooole moment but it is enjoyable all the same.  This movie has all the right ingredients for a Summer time movie.  It is light, uses a familiar formula and leaves the door wide open for a number 4.   If you’re a fan, hit the cinemas, if you can take the Fockers or leave them, wait for it to come out on DVD.

3 out of 5 stars.

Released on Boxing Day at all major cinemas.